The Stupid Old Man, Again!

Remember this guy? He's still alive! I couldn't believe it! I was driving back to work after lunch today, and as I pass a gas station, I notice out of the corner of my eye that some idiot is leaned back holding some sort of cord, it really looked like he was trying to pull the pump over. So I turn and actually give him a look, and it was the SAME GUY! Doing the same dumb thing he was doing last time I saw him! I wasn't quick enough to get a picture this time, since I was driving, but this was even funnier looking than the first. I'm pretty sad y'all can't see it. I guess I'm going to have to watch for him and keep my phone in camera mode at all times... Perhaps this isn't the last you'll hear of the Man Who Can't Pump Gas!

My Movie

Didn't even make it off the runway.

I apologize to everyone for being a schmuck last week, I was really hoping we could get it done. With the exception of one or two things, I think everything that could've gone wrong did go wrong, so I'm sorry for that too. Hope this week is going better for you.

I Have A Wii

Well, I bought a Wii. It's pretty fun. I've never had to streatch before playing video games before. Pretending to box is more work than you'd think. I'm still working on getting more controllers, because it's definitely more fun with more people. They're pretty expensive though, so it's kinda slow going. Plus there's a bunch of games I need too, like Zelda, and Paper Mario, and Wario Ware, and Raving Rabbids, and Mario Party. Super Smash Bros. and Guitar Hero will be out later this year... I need a raise. So I'm having to decide if I'd rather get another Wiimote or another game when I get paid Thursday. I don't have any solid single player games right now. I do have the internet though, so I can watch Homestar Runner on the TV. And stream Mae's new single off of PureVolume. It's good. What ISN'T good at all is that I actually only have one Wiimote right now, because I broke one last night. :`( I was in a fierce boxing match, and I threw a punch that caused my Wiimote to hit into the Nunchuck attachment, breaking the Wiimote's tilt sensor. So I have to get that replaced...
Other than that I work. Although I will post a marshmellow gun post soon. And a homeless bum's union post.

Weird...

I went to Target today. And I went to the gas station today. And nothing weird happened...

A Stupid Old Man

Ok, so... here's a story. It's a little old, but that's ok. I go to get gas right, and being the person I am, I've waited until my gas gauge is below empty to go get it. I'm on my lunch break at work, I roll into the gas station across the street, and I find that there's only one availible pump. One pump, which is being blocked on this side, by a minivan fueling on my left, and a car to the right, which has pulled up past the pump it's beside and turned slightly to the left, causing it's rear right corner to jut out and seal off any passage down the middle. This annoys me. So I sit there, waiting for this car to move. Well, it doesn't. This old man climbs out, and he's a very funny looking man. There is no definition between his chin and his neck, so it almost looks like his mouth simply rests on his throat... creepy. Other than that, he looked almost exactly like Michael Caine. Well, he wanders around, and looks at that jutting corner of his car. And that's when I notice that his gas tank is on the wrong side. So I figure he'll pull around now. No. No he won't. He opens the tank, goes to the pump, and gets the nozzel. Well, it won't reach. So he pulls, leaning into it, and streaches the hose out until he finally gets it in the tank upside down, and walks over to put in his credit card. I sit there. You've got to be kidding me... While he picks his gas grade, the nozzel falls out of the car. I roll my eyes, and attempt to squeeze my car through the narrow gap. I fit, just barely, but I was so tired of just sitting there watching this idiocy that I wouldn't have cared much about trading some paint. I get to the pump and climb out of my car, and I see the old man is attempting to put the nozzel back in. I think to myself that I really need a picture of this idiot. So I pull out my phone. See above. Well, the man has the nozzel in, and begins pumping. But it's not in far enough, and doesn't open the inside seal of his gas tank. So he stands there, pumping, and the gas begins to run down the side of his car. It splatters his pants legs, it soaks his shoes, it pools on the ground. And yet he stands. Finally the woman from the minivan shouts at him "Sir! Gas!" He starts, and then releases the nozzel. I sigh, pump my gas, and flee the scene.

Happy Birthday Marcy

A Bad Omen

I went to Walmart earlier, and was met by a strange string of happenings. As I returned to my car, I saw two Nissans, a truck and an SUV, both the same shade of yellow and parked in a line, one behind the other. It was then that I knew the evening was... unnatural. As I climbed into my car, I saw a man, an undercover policeman and doppelganger of Geraldo Riviera. He ran in front of me, putting his cart away before climbing in a blue SUV and speeding off. I was feeling uneasy, and my iPod began playing Astrolounge by Smash Mouth, which only seemed to make things worse. Driving home, I bounced down the back roads at a good clip, but it was not long until a battered truck was riding six inches off my bumper and shining his brights into my rearview mirrors at every bump. I tried to kill him, and although I came close three or four times, I failed. I finally made it home after one last commendable attempt at his life, one that sent him swerving into the oncoming lane, and now here I sit, watching, wondering. It's been a strange night. I don't know what will become of me. I don't know what will become of anyone. All I know is... soon.